Then David said to Abigail, “Blessed be the LORD God of Israel, who sent you this day to meet me, and blessed be your discernment, and blessed be you, who have kept me this day from bloodshed and from avenging myself by my own hand.

—1 Samuel 25:32-33

This past weekend, my parents came up and helped my husband and me rearrange the house and set up the nursery that will soon be home to my sweet baby girl, who will be joining us in just a few short weeks. It was a day full of smiles and laughter. In the end, we had completely transformed the spare bedroom into what is now one of my favorite rooms in the house.

It’s full of nature-inspired decor, plenty of shelf space for books, an elegant crib, and because of family tradition, a glider rocker. My brother and I were rocked in a glider rocker. We grew up seeing our mama’s Bible rest on the rocker’s ottoman when she wasn’t studying it (she still puts it there now), and now my Bible has its own ottoman to rest on.

It’s only been a couple of days, but it’s already my favorite place to sit and read my Bible out loud to my little girl. Yesterday, I was reading to her when I came across the story of Abigail and David.

The Story of Abigail and David in 1 Samuel 25

While hiding from Saul in the wilderness, David came across a group of shepherds and servants who worked for Abigail’s husband, Nabal. David’s men camped near them and were kind, offering them protection.

Eventually, they ended up near where Abigail and Nabal lived. As they got close, David sent messengers ahead to ask if Nabal would share any provisions he could with David and his men because a holiday was coming up. Nabal didn’t take it well and sent the messengers back with insults.

In anger, David vowed to kill Nabal’s entire household to avenge the insult. But then Abigail stepped in. A servant told her what her husband had said, and she prepared provisions and went to meet David with an apology. Because of her, David relented and spared the household. And in the end, God avenged the wrong done to David.

What David’s Rash Words Can Teach Us About Speaking in Anger

Here’s what struck me about this story as I rocked in my chair and read to my girl. In the heat of the moment, David was really quick to use some really strong words. No pause. No breath. He just spoke, vowing before the Lord to kill Nabal and his family.

David didn’t know that a servant had already run to Abigail or that she had been preparing the provisions her husband should have offered him. He didn’t know that God would punish Nabal for his sin. When it comes down to it, he spoke some rash words, and if God had decided to hold David accountable for those words at that time, he would have been in a lot of trouble.

How Hasty Words Can Damage Our Relationships

My mind went directly to the days ahead when my sweet little girl might not always give me the warm fuzzies. When I’m tired and frustrated and pushed to my limits, and she does that one thing that gets on my nerves so bad.

This is one way in which I hope to avoid being like David. His words, thrown around so recklessly, could have caused so much damage. And as I am quickly approaching motherhood, it’s a reminder of how much damage my words can cause when I speak rashly out of anger.

But this doesn’t just apply to parenting. Our words can be a poison to our marriages, our friendships, and our relationships with coworkers. They can damage any relationship and even our witness with strangers if we aren’t careful.

Leaving Room for God Before You Speak Hasty Words

So often we hear people say pause, count to ten, take a deep breath before we respond to someone who’s upset us. But what if we did more than that? What if we used that pause, that space, to turn to God for guidance before we speak? David spoke in the heat of the moment without leaving room for God’s guidance. When we do this, when we speak rash words in anger without leaving space for God to guide our hearts and minds, we put just as much at risk. So I hope you’ll join me in building this practice. There’s wisdom in pausing before we speak in anger, but there’s even more in using that pause to intentionally submit our minds and hearts to God.