So he got up and came to his father. But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and felt compassion for him, and ran and embraced him and kissed him.

—Luke 15:20

Returning to Church After Miscarriage

Yesterday was the first day in three weeks that my husband and I went to church for the full morning. Service, life group, serving on the guest services team before and after—the whole shebang.

The reason for this is that on August 13, we lost our first pregnancy to miscarriage. While we experienced an amazing outpouring of love and support from friends, family, and especially our Heavenly Father, we decided to take a step back from some activities while we grieved and healed. I also decided to take a step back from writing for a couple of weeks, so when we walked into church yesterday morning, there were a lot of first-time-in-a-long-times.

Stepping Back, Stepping In

I was honestly a bit nervous. For over three years, I’ve walked into church listening for God to speak so I could share what He was teaching me with my readers, and for the first time since May 2022, I’d stepped away from that. Granted, I don’t think that decision was wrong. I don’t think I sinned by giving myself a break during that time, but I was still a little worried that I might struggle to hear what God had to say to me.

For the thirty minutes leading up to the service and about ten minutes after it began, my husband and I greeted people at one of the doors to the sanctuary. After the flow of people slowed down a bit, we headed into the sanctuary.

I could hear as we walked toward the doors that the congregation was singing one of my favorite worship songs— “In Christ Alone.” When we opened the doors, the singing was quiet, singing a solemn verse, so we skirted the edge of the sanctuary as quickly as we could to get to our seats.

Meeting God in Worship

It was at the very moment that we reached our seats and I turned toward the stage that the song shifted from solemn and quiet to an absolute triumphant roar. I also noticed that words on the screen were highlighted on a background of majestic redwoods, and the roar wasn’t a roar of instruments or miked voices, but the voices of the congregation singing louder than I’ve ever heard them sing. And moments later, the song shifted into a medley that included a hymn. It was instantly overwhelming.

For context, I have always loved trees and felt nearest to God when I’m in nature, my favorite moments in worship services are when I can hear the voices of the congregation, and I’ve always loved hymns. It was like the moment I was back in the place where I was engaging in my ministry and gathering with my church family, God’s presence in worship overwhelmed me with gifts—all my favorite things in a worship setting, as well as a deep, resounding sense of His power.

He was there. And His eyes were on me, twinkling with a smile.

I couldn’t sing. It was all too much, so I closed my eyes and lifted my face. And what I felt in my spirit was a great, booming, joyful, “Welcome back!”

The Father Who Welcomes Us Back

This experience reminds me of the father welcoming the prodigal son home. Not because stepping away for some rest was wrong, but nonetheless, there was an extent to which I missed out on some of my intimacy with God. Having to weekly rely on Him to speak to me has been an excellent exercise in faith and trust, and the practice of approaching the week, and Sunday in particular, with a sense of expectation has primed my heart to seek Him out. And when I stepped back into that attitude and position, God welcomed me back and showered me with soul-healing gifts just like we see happen in Luke 15.

God’s Unchanging Love in Every Season

It can be easy in our culture that emphasizes the physical and encourages busyness, to forget that God is the same yesterday, today, and forever. He is still the Father, watching eagerly to welcome His child home, and this is something we all have the opportunity to experience at times in our lives.

Maybe you’ve been in a busy season at work, and things have finally slowed down enough for you to have a more extended quiet time like you had before. Or maybe you’ve been in a season that required physical rest and healing, and now you’re able to get back to corporate worship. Or maybe we have let something sinful get in the way of our relationship with God. One day, I hope to have a similar experience after a season of being home with a newborn. But whatever the situation, we have cause to be excited when it’s time to return, because we have a Father who is eagerly waiting to welcome us back.